Sleepless night

Why are you trying to deprive me sleep? Closing my eyes while wide awake, frustration in my soul, oh I’m so weak! Up before 5 and now its past midnight. I pray for peace and for these consistent headaches to cease! Change is coming quickly I just know it, these winds of change have begun blowing. Pressure from lifes arenas while I’m balancing life like a ballerina, but I figured that I’m not always good on my feet, is it possible to catch up on sleep?

Oh God can you hear me? I long for you as I’m dreary, come near me…come near me? It’s a long winter night and these dry tears are falling, can you see them God? Do you catch them even when they are dry? I need to face the world tomorrow, should I fake a smile and hide my sorrow? But I can’t, I can’t be fake, my heart is visible on my sleeve on display for everyone to see. Take me as I am people you don’t know my inner pain! Sorry I don’t mean to shout, that’s tiredness talking again. Shhh… its quiet now my soul, get some rest, peace will come don’t be depressed! I’m begging you this night.. relax and take a breath, cast your anxieties upon the Lord, don’t meditate on the mess.

Hello sweet dreams, its been a while since I enjoyed your company. I will treasure this moment, I will remember what you have done for me.

Picture: Google images – sleepless night

1 Peter 5:7 cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you.



When you think that you are unnoticed #teachflow1

Giving up becomes a strong temptation after years of work bearing little or no fruit. The quit button seems to be growing in size as we gaze upon this temptation with hungry eyes. You want to press that button but somehow you don’t, because you know that carrying on is the way to go. It’s hard isn’t it? When you have so much to give but feel limited.
Life has kept you in a nest when you long to fly, your boss thinks that you’re a mess but doesn’t know the why? You’re always looking for what’s next but it seems you miss the mark; you turn off the light at no one can see your tears in the dark. Life’s hard, and sometimes life’s draining; but you will never get renewed energy by complaining.
Your work never got the results it deserved, you produced good results; but you feel that this is meaningless because no one knows. Then you believe that God doesn’t see you either, you see the blessings for other people and struggle to keep believing. Your holding on with your finger nails and hoping for wind in those beaten down sails.. Well keep holding on!
You may feel under-appreciated, but you are a precious created being; you may turn that light off but that does not mean God is not seeing. Your tears are held in his hand, stand strong in your faith.. Stand, stand, stand! It only takes one moment with your maker to change everything, one recognition from God can make you a queen or King. So sing, sing, sing for joy, you don’t need to be noticed by men when God chooses to employ. Blessings are coming my friend, so never give up… Carry on until the end.

God rejoices over you with singing!

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Image: God rejoices over you – Google images

Love and blessings

Make time count

Im not lazy and im not a procrastinator by nature, Im just afraid that if I am rejected one more time I may explode like an explosive in an incinerator. History has caused my will to fail like a college drop out, now I make excuses just for me to cop out. Tomorrow I say… tomorrow we go on an adventure! Yet tomorrow never comes, saying tomorrow has the same effect as when the father says ‘not now son’. It hurts and it steals valuable time. It creates a false promise that tomorrow will be devine.

24 hours is our daily present, a gift from our maker in heaven. So lets work out an average here… 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, 104 days as week ends along with Easter and Christmas and extra holiday days from work or school. 8 hours average sleep, 8 hours work 5 days a week, 8 hours spare. Yet lets add in 1 hour for travelling here and there along with another hour for eating including prepare. 6 hours left on this daily average. Of course there is TV time for soap lovers, showers to take and all these small added things. Our life is packed like a lunch box. So many things, so what do we do? We make use of time wisely. If you travel everyday on a bus or train, you can study on the journey and fill up your brain. If you pray, you don’t need to be in a specific place at a specific time, if you pray to Jesus then prayer can always be in our hearts and mind. You don’t need to wait for a stage to encourage someone or say something good, start where you are in your neighbourhood. Time is what you make of it, so make time count. Do today what you would do tomorrow, then when this day is done… it will be you giving a victory shout!

We don’t have to be robbed by yesterdays missed opportunities. Too much time looking in the rear view mirrow will cause us to miss todays victories. So look forwards and make every second worthwhile… this is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and smile



The mirrow does not lie; but our perception of our own reflection does.

We look into it and cry… why oh why? Can’t I be like that girl or that guy?

Not staisfied, craving for something better or to be someone else.

This endless misery reflected because of a false inspection of our self.

Not realising the uniqueness of our human identity, creating chasms within our hearts and feeling empty.

We fill up the emptiness with lies and hope to be satisfied. Feeling powerless to control this endless endeavour as if our hands are tied.

We strive for a perfection that is not possible to achieve, comparing our reflection to super models in magazines.

Do you not realize that you are already a masterpiece? God made you with a smile on his face, but you don’t want to believe.

You expect perfection to be a face without wrinkles and a body that’s in shape. It’s good to be in shape but it is fake to believe that you are only a masterpiece because you get to that stage.

Do you know why we are a masterpiece? Because we have the hall marks of our creator. We have been stamped with approval, this approval has the power to heal anything that has bruised you.

Next time you look in the mirror and you are hurting, you tell that beautiful person.. ‘I’m not worthless… I have purpose… I am a masterpiece of my creator.. then you say to yourself with a smile.. See you later!’


Hold on weary soul..Hold on!

Get up my weary soul, wake up from your slumber! Tomorrows thoughts can wait, today is more than enough to take. Wake up before the sun arises, pray before todays surprises. Prepare your self before the thunder!

The Eagle catches the wind and sails the sky; the same as a boat catches the wind and sails the oceans. The wind is the force that drives success for the Eagle and the boat; the trust they had was in another force to keep them both afloat.

My soul, you are weary and tired because you are trying to do it all yourself. The God you trust in awaits to give you power; but your trust is in someone else. You are basing your success on the approval of man, you think that success is just having the attitude ‘I can’.

Oh it’s more than that.. more than just self belief. It’s believing that God has the best in store for you even when you feel lost at sea. When the hedge around your heart seems too high and too steep, its then that you need trust that God gives strength to the weak.

It’s hard to keep going when progress seems slow, believe me I know! And I have toiled and pressed on with a weary soul. Yet success has changed meaning in this heart of mine, if today I didn’t quit and I still have faith, then I’m doing just fine!

So my soul hold on… don’t threat when others are given stages while your shedding tears in your room. God sees it all, his reward awaits you. Whether in this life or the next.. holding on to Christ will be what shapes you.

Success.. is not giving up on doing what’s right… It is to refuse to be corrupted by the devils schemes of night.
Hold on to the light! Hold on to the light! Because soon… very soon… God will lift you up on high!


Trust in the surgeon

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, where is it? Where is it?.. I have searched but with no merit. Why are longings in my heart if they are not being fulfilled? I have dug deep into the depths of knowledge, I have cried out to God and been honest. This process of self death makes me feel like I’m slowly being killed. Being on the operating table of a holy God means I must trust in the surgeons skills. If God was a psycho then my fear would cause me to run, but because he is the surgeon I can trust his will to be done. Does this make it easier? No, its a painful experience, but I need these splints to be removed for me to walk better spiritually. Otherwise I would stumble and not be restored, I need God to operate on my life..if he didn’t then I would be set up to fall. We moan when faced with a trial, as if its God against us because he thinks we are vile, well smile because that’s not the case, trials develop character they will never go to waste.

The surgeon knows what he’s doing, you may be thinking what the heck God! Why is it only me struggling, why is Joe bloggs so blessed when I’m struggling to get back up again? I have had enough, it’s too tough my soul is rough and I feel like giving up! That is when faith grows, in the circumstance of the unknown, when your at the red sea and you feel alone and intimidated by the way ahead. This is when you need the faith to believe every word God has said.

‘I love you my child, I am the good shepherd, I will provide, I will make a way because I am the way, I will not hide, you will see ny glory and make history with me, you are free and those that I set free are free indeed’.
Yes, those that the son sets free are free indeed!


Pruning season

Your not abandoned in your inner turmoil, God is planting his seeds and preparing the soil. Time has caused you to beleive that God has left you at the altar, you gave yourself as an offering yet feel God has forgot you. You scream on the inside and think others receive blessings but not you. Blinded by multiple failures and reasoning with the mind, you compare yourself to others saying why are they always fine? But you don’t see what’s on the inside, you cannot judge another persons heart or test success in God by time. You are being pruned, cut back so the fruit you once bore will be even greater. You are being purified by the universe creator. Now if God can keeps the universe in such law and order, why do you struggle to believe he can keep your life the same? You think that your life is a mess because you experience pain? Labor is painful, but the joy aftetwards far outweighs this. Yes, this is the experience of pregnancy before new born babies. Labor is 9 months and the child is for life, let God do his work for a while and watch how he makes everything right! No one else can walk the path God has laid out for you, your good works have been prepared in advance, so keep on pushing through! Pruning is necessary for growth, no one likes the shears of the gardner cutting back for fruit to grow. Let God do his work, let him multiply your fruitfulness, don’t threat just because others succeed while they are still in their youthfulness. Love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. Let these fruits become the maker of your soul. Let it go so you can grow, in due time God will reap a harvest through you!


If today was my last day

If today was my last day… I would make sure you knew how much I loved you. I would not hold back compliments because of my own pride; I would not hide, I would do all I can to end the day right.

If today was my last day… I would want you to remember my smile, I would look at you asif it was the first time; I would make every effort to make every second count, I would have this last day all worked out.

If today was my last day… I would make that phone call; I would say I’m sorry that I hurt you. Family is not meant to be filled with strife and anger, I want to know that when I go me and you forgave each other, isn’t this better? Father, mother, sister and brother?

If today was my last day… I would ask God to forgive my sins; I would make sure that tomorrow I would be with him. I would pray for my loved ones, that they may be strengthened and given peace, I would pray they would know love, and for hearts to be set free.

What if today was my last day?.. I wouldn’t have known it when I woke up this morning, I would have carried on as normal without any warning. It has been said live everyday like the last because one day it will be, so today I want to make life count. I want to know that when I finish this day I have no reasons to doubt… no reasons to doubt that I accomplished all that I could be…a blessing to all I could, so that when I rest… I can rest in peace.


Oh my heart…hold on!

Quiet.. my heart! Listen for just one moment, take a hyperthetical seat, this may take a few beats. You can’t keep going on like this.. you’ve been trampled on and now your stuck in the abyss…wake up from your slumber! Get out of this pit of despair. It hurts I know, when you are taken for granted, yes my heart.. it hurts. It could be worse.. you could have gave up first. You’re a fighter though, there are more beats left in you, your willingness will overcome. You feel used and abused because you want to love, but love is vulnerable because it means you get close to people. You will always be hurt if you aim to love, but this is good! Pain is a sign that your awake, and for the worlds sake… don’t let hatred become your fate! If the world hates you then that’s up to them, but not you my heart, because you can’t be filled with hate and remain Gods friend. I say it again.. you can’t be filled with hate and remain Gods friend! So keep beating, keep seeking and never be fleeting. The world needs real deep as the ocean mountain peak love, superficial warn and torn half hearted devoted love is not enough. So hang in there heart, keep pumping and bringing life! Let what’s good into your perimeters and never let hatred suffice.