The real me…the real you

Is my pain so blind to see, suffering deep down so silently.
I still smile in this blue marble of an earth,
but sometimes the smile only masks the wounds that hurt.
I take a picture on a sunny day
So that when the suns not shining I remind myslef it will be okay.

I wish that person would understand what I am feeling,
but the one in the mirrior is not so revealing.
‘You cant keep locking up your pain’, I would say to myself.
A mask is not a permanent fix, neither is pretending to be someone else.
Sooner or later you have to face your own fears,
then in that moment you will be left with a choice.
You can choose to move forward and keep changing gears,
or you can let fear damn your life and block out your voice.
So what will it be future me? Yes every me is a future me because time does not wait.
Every second that moves forward is a chance to re-make.
So I will look in the mirror and tell me what I need to hear,
and say “you know what, lets be real in this life”
“No more masks and no more lies”
Theres only one version of me on the planet
God made me unique so I know I can manage
Its more tiring trying to be something Im not
So today I choose to be me, because in this world, there can only be one version of each person, because in this life, you are the best you that you can be.

Feature picture: Young Man Taking Off Mask Stock Photo 99779171 – Google images 


The epiphany of life

Who told you you’re not good enough? Who said that you’re a mistake? Who said that you should give up? Who told you you’re a fake? 

Maybe this was said from someone who was in pain, the only way to escape what they felt was to make you feel the same. That way they wouldnt feel so lonely in their suffering, so they try to bring you down to make themself come back up again. In most cases they dont want to say what hurts, but they say it because no matter what they do nothing seems to work. They’ve tried to keep there self together, they tried to wear a mask, but suddenly what’s buried deep comes out from the traumas of the past. It all happens so fast, a bad word is spoken in haste, this hurts deep, the only way there can be healing is through grace. There’s no time to waste, when someone hurts you dont hide your face, show them that you care, dont let this make you hate, because this is what caused the problem in the first place.

When someone shouts at you over something small, this is an indication that something hurts within their core. You drop a plate in the kitchen and your mama calls you an idiot, in her mind that plate had memories, so when it smashed she was afraid that this would make her forget. It seems silly, but this is how we humans attach to things, when an object holds a memory its like a precious diamond ring. Letting go of something precious stirrs something deep inside. Thats why most the time we find somewhere in our heart for these memories to hide. It is when our connection to that memory shatters, when we ask ourselves how did this happen? Then we wake up and realize that some day we need to let go, it is letting go that makes room for us to grow. 

When we become a teenager we let go of things we did as a child. We stop collecting pokemon cards, we stop playing with toy cars and learn to drive a real one, we no longer wake up early just to watch cartoons, we begin to realize sometimes life is hard, we begin to respect our Dad and mum, we are then officialy an adult, oh how that day came so soon! We thought we would stay young forever but age crept up on us, and then before we know it we are 18, 21, 30 and so on… we look back at where we came from, think about those who are gone, then we look forward and move on. 

Our age teaches us wisdom as we learn from our mistakes, sometimes we do the same things wrong that we did in the first place. Patterns of behaviour can be hard to break, if they were formed in our child hood it becomes a character trait. So we grow up with insecurities and impurities, issues that come out when we are older or go through hard times, but when these issues come to the surface its an opportunity for your character to be refined, once the flac is skimmed away then its your chance to shine. So don’t let fear make you run away, stay on track and do not sway, life is for living so live it today. This is the epiphany of life.


The future..which road shall I take? (a poetic expression)

There comes a time when we can no longer use our past as an excuse to define us, when we keep looking back it’s like looking out the window with blinds down. There’s a beautiful view out there but we can’t see it because what we are focusing on temporarily blinds us, so we need to wind up the blinds and allow the sun to shine on us. Would we walk down the street looking behind us? That would be dangerous, we could walk into a lampost or a car, train or bus.

The future is ahead, its like a one way system, you can only keep moving forward in one direction. Yet many roads are on this one way system, it’s up to us which one we are selcting. Gods way? My way? Or the highway? If I choose my way I wonder if one day I could change lanes? Hum, that way could possibly lead to fame, that way would be insane! Or maybe I should stay on the road I know so that nothing will ever change. 

What would future me say to present self? What would present me say to past self? Present me would have said make the most of those school years, your education is important for your future, listen carefully to your tutor. Present me would have said, don’t listen to those who only say bad things to you, keep doing the right thing. because this is right to do. If only I took present me’s advice, then I could have avoided so many dark nights with no head lights.

You cannot expect future you to speak to present self, if we know the right choice to make today then we needn’t live in doubt. Look forwards not back, read the signs and stay on track. The future is every moment, not just in many years time. So let todays choices make a better tomorrow… message to all mankind.

The unkown…

It can be a scary place… the unkown. We all must go there sometime. I hear you calling me, how do you know my name if I don’t know you? 

I look over to the distance… the future is calling me. That’s how you know my name right? One day you and me will be acquainted, no longer the unknown but close friends.

I see the distance between us right now, even Mo Farah would struggle with that. Yet I’m not phased by distance, because from now until then is the exploration time.

Yes you wait there in the distance…I will be there soon. Wait… am I not already there? If your the future then you are not just in the distance, your right there in front of me. 

Time only ticks forwards, that means that every tick is a glimpse of the future. So I already know you, yet you still seem so unknown. 

So this is a parallax, you change whenever I move position. One moment you seem so far away, the next we can have a staring competition. 

So close yet so far… yes you are. Sometimes I see far ahead like a light shining through the dark, yet sometimes I can’t see the next step, there’s not even a spark.

It’s a strange but wonderful thing… the unknown. It is a place that takes courage to reach, a place where some won’t take the next step. Yet, how can the unknown become known if we never take a step?


Fame hunter

I feel like you’re a fame hunter

I feel like you’re a fame hunter
Smooth between the lines you cry and lie for the same thunder
You step aside for the bribes because you’re a fake drummer
You try and beat down my ego just to be a fake stunner
You think I’m just a fear runner
Slow between my steps you think I’m a maze runner
You keep laughing thinking I’m a weak gunner
I raw like a lion , you can’t stop me, I’m a strong hunter

I’m sick and tired of your mind games
I’m sick and tired of your lying fame
But I can’t complain
The bigger the pain, the bigger fame, the bigger crane that will bigger His name

…And I don’t want you fail on life
…And I don’t want you to fake a smile
…Take a bow and now make me proud
…Forget the doubts fight it out loud

It takes place when the race gets hit on the face by ‘mistake’
Where you either get up take a punch a keep haste
Not faking the battle keeping stance with enemy
Keeping the Helohim on the big screen fixing Your loving being

Insecurities turning into abilities,
mind looping imunities, making it safe from impurity
You’re feeling sorry,
you feel like the world makes you regret every decision
Makes you believe you’re the cause of imprecision
But this is just a lie to bring down your fighting vision
Another day another battle, this Deemerzion

 He is the fixer.
Everytime you tear up, He rearranges the picture
His signature move is the Love that He feels in
Makes you improve and you look in the mirror
You look at the past, and you realise you’re a Winner

…And I don’t want you fail on life
…And I don’t want you to fake a smile
…Take a bow and now make me proud
…Forget the doubts fight it out loud


Welcome to the 21st century

Welcome to the twenty first century. An era of technological advances derived from an explosion of knowledge and people willing to take risky chances. We dont even know our own neighbours, if we do we wish we never said hello in the first place. Whats happened to us, our sense of commnutiy has lost its unity. Now were too busy on facebook and complain to people to get out of our space. 

Welcome to the 21st century, over 7 billion people in the world yet loneliness affects more than a common cold, whether we are young or old, makes no difference in a world that can sometimes be so cold. We hide our identity on social media, its easier to talk when nobody is seeing you. They can’t monitor our facial expressions that way, how are you? Im fine you would say. We all know that’s not the truth, when the only place to find you is online when searching for you. The only one we are fooling is ourself, so log out, put on your shoes and go out. Enjoy the fresh breeze, embrace the outdoors. If its raining wear a coat, have a rest from technological chores. 

Welcome to the 21st century, its not all gloom and doom, theres good news, Jesus is coming back soon! This world has so much food yet there’s still famine, it has so much space yet the underground seems to have competitions of how many people they can cram in. Some people have spare rooms while the poor sleep on the street, yes there are various reasons why we can’t give them a room but we can always give them something to eat. Once a person has tasted poverty they understand, they don’t hesitate again to reach out their hand. 

Welcome to the 21st century, we are in charge, we are able to change this, our neighbours don’t have to remain strangers. Say hello, you may not regret it, invite them round for lunch this could be the start of your friendship. Our neighbour doesn’t mean the one who lives next door, it could be that person on the street or the one who lives at number 4. 

So welcome to the 21st century, it has its good parts too, because for this 21st century, God made me and he made you.


Lents poetic interview…How did you do?

“How was lent? Did you do well”?
‘I must be honest, I was on and off with my commitments. I started well and excelled, and then I had a tough day and I fell. Oh well, is what I used to say, but this time I refused to accept this as defeat. Quick, get back up on your feet! I would say this to myself like a record stuck on repeat’. 

“Did you give something up for lent?”

‘Its not so much that I gave something up, its more a case of starting something new’. “What was this”? It was a commitment to remain positive, this was so hard when I had a bad day and was thinking to myself I have had enough of this. Yet, step by step I guess there was change, I just need to keep it going now that we’re at the end of lents days.’

“Do you consider lent to be religious”?

‘I am a believer of Jesus, so of course I see its significance. He was tempted by the Devil for 40 days and refused to give into his ways. Lent is the build up to the crucifixion and resurrection, it is a chance to stabalize our commitment to God, to improver our spiritual perception. Yes I admit that it takes strength to give or start something up, and to keep it going after lent is over. This is commendable, but if we only do it to prove ourself then we are missing the point. Lent is a chance to refocus on the cross and to meditate on the ressurrection hope. So do I believe it is religious? I believe it is faith, so my answer would have to be no.’

“Isn’t religion and faith the same?”

‘If Christianity is religious then it becomes a set of rules, we become like the sadducees and pharisees who Jesus considered fools. Faith, even as small as a mustard seed, is about belief, to believe in something or someone means to trust. To have hope means to have faith, to believe God loves us, without having to tick all the boxes takes faith. Religion puts on pressure to comform, faith releases us to transform. So having faith as a christian is about having hope that outmeasures our circumstances, this is what lent takes, a little bit of faith and a whole lot of Gods grace.’

“So is lent worth being a part of?

‘Yes it is, without a doubt. You may slip up on some days in commitments but God is there to help us out. If lent is just an opportunity to give something up, why wait until lent? If it is an opportunity to seek God, then this is time well spent. I have stumbled many times during this time, the key is to keep looking forward, never look behind. So yes lent is worth doing and God is worth pursuing.’

“Thank you for sharing this”.

You are welcome


Crazy love

Will you walk the extra mile with me? Will you love me even when I make mistakes? Would you seal love with a kiss? Or would your love for me be fake? A diamond is tested by examination, if its fake it will break easily. If its real then the value is far more, depending on the size and how rare it is. True love is more precious than diamonds and more valuable than gold, truth be told it is available for all to be able to hold. You can buy diamonds if you are rich, but love is not expensive. It costs nothing to give a hug, say something nice and smile. It costs no money to listen and stay with someone a while. It may cost your time but its time worth investing, fake love won’t last, true love will, even when it is tested.So buckle up and get ready for a generation rising up filled with crazy love. Love that never gives up and always keeps hope, this is a love worth living for, a love that is seen without a microscope. Let it be visable and shine in this darkness, who knows maybe this love can reach out to even the most heartless. Love, its crazy when its sacrificial, so let’s love this way and get rid of the superficial. The world needs love like this, the world needs Heaven to come down and greet earth with a kiss.


When friendship grows apart.

Sometimes you have looked at me like a stranger, am I not your best friend anymore?

I know the power of rejection, what it feels like when someone slams the door.

I know sometimes I hurt you, this was only because I was hurting too.

Sorry my friend, I hope its okay if I still call you that?

Why let friendship end? If I send you a message will you message back?

So we have a differences, so what? We dont see much now days or talk a lot.

Age has played a part in our seperation. We grew up and grew apart, its the pattern of every generation.

But dont treat me like I dont exist if you see me. Or act like a movie star thats been on TV.

Seriously, we were so close, true friendship shouldn’t end just because we changed posts.

This isn’t me begging for a new start, just an old friend sharing some of my heart.

We used to share so much, remember in the hard times our friendship was enough.

You somehow knew just what to say, we used to smile and cry as we shared our day.

But I guess for now we go our own way, I wish you all the best.

Maybe our paths will meet again, before our souls be laid to rest.

So my friend God bless, may life treat you well. I’m sure we will see each other again, so this is only goodbye for now.


The final chapter #revelation 22

The final chapter has been written. A story that started before the fruit was forbidden. A story of redemption, a story where we can’t help but pay attention.

Rebellion was birthed from the beginning, but God had a plan before the world started spinning. Some may ask, why would God allow us to do wrong in the first place? Good question, yet would we truly know Gods love without his grace?

Suppose doing wrong was not an option, and God the father didn’t choose us for adoption. If we always belonged and never did wrong, the father would not have sent his begotten son.

Our scars tell stories, without the hardship their can be no glory. We had to have a choice to ignore or obey Gods voice.

It sounds mean, but true love is something we choose, the world’s full of bad but this is good news! Revelation 22, it’s a promise of restoration, for me and for you. No matter what we are going through, or how many wrongs have happened to you, this is a hope worth holding on too.

The cross is Gods unique invitation, to restore our lost souls and give us salvation. It is a free gift, we choose whether to accept it. Or we can live without this hope if we choose to reject it.

Everyone’s invited, the rich and the poor, but we hold the handle to open the door. In the end all creation will be restored, yet today, with God, we can be so much more.

Eternity depends on our decision, his story includes you, that’s our purpose in living. Remember the cross if today your afraid, death was the cost but the price has been paid.