When I was a child

When I was a child I lived without a care in the world.

There was no challenge to get out of bed, no need for an alarm.

Life was a mystery as I lived to create my history.

When I was a child my excitement was watching the rug rats or playing games.

I used to look at all the tall people and think, “wow, I hope I am that tall one day!”

I was not afraid to dream, everyday was a gift and I loved it.

I never worried about tomorrow, it didn’t even cross my mind.

I lived in the moment, that was the beauty of being a child.

Life wasn’t easy in foster care, but I learned how to handle it

I had many questions, but still I kept my candle lit.

When I was a child, the simplest things used to bring me joy

I loved playing out with friends and I was over the moon when I had a new toy.

Sometimes I ask myself, when did it all change?

What made all these simple moments burn up in flames?

I went through trauma as a child, yet still enjoyed life.

Some never go through such things and still chose the dark side.

When I was a child, I looked forward to being older

Yet now I’m grown, and I have lived some history, I have seen the world getting colder

They say its global warming, but many hearts have grown cold

Maybe that’s because we forget the simple joys of life when we get old

When I was a child, I lived life like there was no tomorrow

Now I have grown up, I vow to do the same despite the sorrow!

God bless



Tip of the iceberg #teachflows3

Judging a whole person by first impression can lead to deception. First impression is important; the first look, the first smile, the first conversation and kiss, yes first moments are bliss. Yet first impression is just the tip of the iceberg, around 70 percent of the real person is neither seen or heard, at least not at first. So when we meet someone new and ask how do you do? Lets not judge the whole person from one conversation over a nice brew. You want to know someone true? You want to go beneath the surface like a deep sea diver? Or is fear not allowing people to see what’s inside you?

What is beneath the surface? Our soul and character, the core of our being, our identity… we are far from worthless. We have conformed to an outward focus, this is why true character is hard to notice. It takes a trained eye to see beyond the physical form and to break the power of the norm. From the day we are born we are lured into the trap of outer beauty is all. The hard times come and we fall because the mirror lied to us all. We forgot to work on our core, inner beauty faded because it was ignored.

The tip is not the whole person, that is just the icing on the cake. The real you lies beneath the deep, now it’s time to awake. Awake O sleeper, pray for God to strengthen areas that are weaker. Let more of the real you rise as you adapt to this new meaning in life, then people who meet you will not be surprised because your letting your true colours shine.


Oh my heart…hold on!

Quiet.. my heart! Listen for just one moment, take a hyperthetical seat, this may take a few beats. You can’t keep going on like this.. you’ve been trampled on and now your stuck in the abyss…wake up from your slumber! Get out of this pit of despair. It hurts I know, when you are taken for granted, yes my heart.. it hurts. It could be worse.. you could have gave up first. You’re a fighter though, there are more beats left in you, your willingness will overcome. You feel used and abused because you want to love, but love is vulnerable because it means you get close to people. You will always be hurt if you aim to love, but this is good! Pain is a sign that your awake, and for the worlds sake… don’t let hatred become your fate! If the world hates you then that’s up to them, but not you my heart, because you can’t be filled with hate and remain Gods friend. I say it again.. you can’t be filled with hate and remain Gods friend! So keep beating, keep seeking and never be fleeting. The world needs real deep as the ocean mountain peak love, superficial warn and torn half hearted devoted love is not enough. So hang in there heart, keep pumping and bringing life! Let what’s good into your perimeters and never let hatred suffice.


Coping mechamism

I have this voice that nobody seems to listen to. Its not easy in the mind of an overthinker, just like its not easy for the life of a heavy drinker. We find mechanisms to cope; some write, some drink and some smoke. What should I say? And would you listen if I said it? Or would what I speak be like an old book, you tell me that you have read it. How can overthinking be a gift and a curse at the same time? How come what I say is not always the same as what’s on my mind?

Being lonely in the middle of a crowd, one hundred minds joined together yet not one of them is speaking out loud. All gazing at the phone in hand, the only interaction is when people move to sit down. There is the odd eye contact, but only a glimpse and then it’s back to watsapp. Forget watsap… whats happening? I look around and become insecure like my mind is under attack again. What if I shouted now with all these people around? I bet that would get attention, but no I choose to silence my mouth and write it all down…Welcome to the underground!

I use technology for my expressive thinking, I figure this is much better for me than excessive drinking. Yet while I stare at my phone I sense reality slip from my grasp, speaking to people on the phone is good..but this gives conversation a mask. Looking into eyes and speaking face to face, this is the way to speak that will never go to waste.

Yet we all have coping mechamisms, I’m using mine right now. Writing what I see and feel helps me let my emotions out. Thats my coping mechanism, I see no harm if it can do some good, I would rather choose this than the drink, sex and drugs. Well thats my way of coping, whats yours? We all have potential within us, we just need to open our minds doors.

Image – google – mechanisms


One of them?

I told a man once that I was a christian, he said to me, what makes you one of them? One of them, I gasped…what do you mean? Well aren’t they the ones that judge others and condems them because of sins? Oh…I’m not one of them! I’m a christian my friend. Erm, hello..you just told me that and I told you what I think..

One of them? I’m sorry that we are considered as hypocritical, anti-political and even cynical! This is not what Jesus intended when the church was born. This is not what he meant when he said love each other; forgive even our enemies, crucify the flesh and follow the Lord. Many are chosen but few are called, this is the reason why! Because we have painted a tainted picture of Christ. 

One of them? I refuse to follow the principles of men, if these principles lead me astray from God. To be the worlds friend, is it really worth it in the end if I sacrifice eternal life? I’m a christian, not in name but in stature. I don’t want to accuse the world of sin and then hope for my own rapture. If truth is what you are after, then christ is the best example. One of them? You ask.. I’m so sorry my friend, but they gave you the wrong sample.

One of them? It makes me sad that we the church have turned from our first love. He without sin cast the first stone; its not even stones, whole mountains we have thrown! Crushing the none believer by making them feel so far gone, that they think even Christ himself could not bring them home. Oh I’m sorry on behalf of them my friend! Christ welcomes you, with all faults and failures, his arms are open…open until the very end!

Cover photo: goodgle images


Heavenly father

Dear Heavenly father,

How long must I wait? I’m tired and weary from this long journey of faith. The shield I’m holding has become heavy and my sword blunt, I try to keep fighting but it’s coming to a point where I feel like accepting my fate. Sorry if I seem demanding; who am I to order the hands of my maker, I just long for you to secure my stance, I can’t do it without you. Its true, I tried and I fell and said ‘oh well, what now?’ You know how it is father, do I still need to tell you? Asif you don’t understand all the hell I have been through. You were there too! Struggling in the wilderness…yes me and you. I feel distant at times, father why is it during hard times you seem so hard to find? Is it because what seems like your absence causes me to dig deep? The desert land of my heart needs living water. I can carry a bucket, but its a well that I seek. Even better, you say when I believe living waters dwell in me. Well, come and let there be a waterfall and set this heart free! I’m not angry father, but I know I was for so long. Life had not been easy and many times I chose wrong. God if I write to you will you respond? I will wait for you… I will wait for you.. I will wait until I stand strong.


Dusk until dawn#lifepoem.8

Shame is a heavy weight to carry; I have enough to carry already without adding you to the basket. 

Pain is something I would rather divorce than marry; but pain is a part of life until I lye in my casket.

Sorrow may come at night, but joy comes with the morning.

Tomorrow I believe all things will be alright; this is my reminder when the devil starts roaring.

The hard times produce character, that’s why I can rejoice in tribulation.

If I can just hold on to faith and trust my narrator, then I know nothing will cause seperation.

I will grit my teeth in order not to speak wrong.

I will pray to unleash my heart so I can turn sorrow into songs.

I will make an effort to turn from evil, I will put down my anchor in the storm.

Even if I fight every night, God I cannot leave you. Give me strength from dusk until dawn.

I will escape from this mosh pit of madness

So that when I awake I will be filled with gladness.

This is the remedy for overcoming; to stand firm against the enemy and stop running.

Night time…you have no hold on me when the light shines.

So I’m gona let it shine, may these tribulations make my life refined.

Is this crazy? Maybe, but I would rather be a better man than let the evil in this world change me.

Shame… I’m done with your name, pain…I will use you for gain, this will be my story, this will be my fame

From dusk until dawn; hold on and don’t give up, and remember that when Jesus died the curtain was torn!


Muddy windows#lifepoem.7

Can my eyes not see? Is this picture only my imagination?
I want to see flowers grown naturally not forced into plantation.

Mother nature is on probation since the curse of Gods creation.

What is this blocking my view? Is it me? Or is it you?

Neither; these muddy windows, I tried to clean them but still the view is skewed 
I see beauty but I know it’s just a glimpse until I receive my full sight.

Heaven beckons while nature screams for restoration.

Even the trees bow down waiting with anticipation.

We have the sun but we still live in darkness.

These muddy windows are blocking the view of why all existence started.

Why don’t I just open the windows? Because the window is me.

My eyes are the window to all that I see.

If this beauty that I see is just a taste of eternity. 

Then how great is that day when my eyes are fully set free.

For now I see partially, but one day will see in all fulness

When just a flash of the Lords light will blaze up all lifes dullness.

Muddy windows? Only for a short while….The beauty of eternity is not worth comparing too, I will gaze through these muddy windows for now, and I will do it with a smile, until my last day when I have seen this life through.

Image – google images – muddy windows


Please dont say maybe #lifepoem.6

I didn’t meet you in perfection, no kiss of a prince, just a normal guy like me hoping for a glimpse. Just a glimpse of what real love looks like, no masks and make up, no arguing and no fights. Just a simple question, do you want to be with me? Say yes or no, but please don’t say maybe. I don’t want to be hanging on a false promise, that’s why from day one it’s better to be honest. If day one you can lie, then day 2 would be goodbye. If we laid a foundation on sand and not solid ground, the moment a storm comes what we have built will come crashing down. So isn’t it better to be real from the start? So that when I say I love you, I say it from the heart. I’m the real me, I’m not a well know actor. Just a man that’s writing a book, ‘you and me’ can be the next chapter.


Your smile #lifepoem.5

I’m so astounded by the beauty of your smile. You proclaim to be shy, but when you smile my attention on you is focused. My love I am devoted; to let you know that your beauty is not unoticed.

If someone does not see your beauty in the same way I do, then I could say that they are a fool for not seeing it too. Yet that would not be fair to say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder; and if I want you my love to always stay while we grow and get older, then I want you to know that my love for you is becoming stronger. 

If I never expressed affection in a detailed inspection, then love might not hit the mark and it would be prone to infection. 

Every smile and every glowing look produces a crop of fruit, every kind word imparts love that the world cannot pollute. 

So know that you are beautiful, believe that for yourself. Then even if no one ever tells you, you would never be put down. Even so, while you and I exist in our commitment to each other, I would always make an effort for you to know how much I love you. 

So smile my lady, for this is your time. I know that when you smile I will smile too, this is all I need to comfirm that our love for each other is true.