If today was my last day

If today was my last day… I would make sure you knew how much I loved you. I would not hold back compliments because of my own pride; I would not hide, I would do all I can to end the day right.

If today was my last day… I would want you to remember my smile, I would look at you asif it was the first time; I would make every effort to make every second count, I would have this last day all worked out.

If today was my last day… I would make that phone call; I would say I’m sorry that I hurt you. Family is not meant to be filled with strife and anger, I want to know that when I go me and you forgave each other, isn’t this better? Father, mother, sister and brother?

If today was my last day… I would ask God to forgive my sins; I would make sure that tomorrow I would be with him. I would pray for my loved ones, that they may be strengthened and given peace, I would pray they would know love, and for hearts to be set free.

What if today was my last day?.. I wouldn’t have known it when I woke up this morning, I would have carried on as normal without any warning. It has been said live everyday like the last because one day it will be, so today I want to make life count. I want to know that when I finish this day I have no reasons to doubt… no reasons to doubt that I accomplished all that I could be…a blessing to all I could, so that when I rest… I can rest in peace.



Jealousy… the destroyer!

You look at whats not yours because you want it, your force is destructive we could call you atomic. You compare yourself to others becoming self iconic but this only makes the soul vomit. Your affects last longer than the path of a twister, you bite like a lion and you sting like a blister, when you took a vacation nobody missed you, you’ve been cheating on people since the devil had kissed you. You have a main name, they call you jealousy. Pride is your aliance and coveting is your key. Your never happy with what you own, always wanting more. Then when you take it you forsake it like its something old and worn and torn.

Jealousy is a killer, and pride makes us fall. Contentment is the antidote and humility stands tall. If your on the track of jealousy, and I know where that way leads.. take a turn and get off route because its a dead end street. This is destructive jealousy.. not for your husband or wife. There are times jealousy helps us protect our loved ones, when jealousy seems right. So take heed less you fall from ways that are good, check your heart for jealousy and continue as you should. Life can be cruel and Jealous moments come and go, but the way to avoid its destructive power is to never let if grow.


Oh my heart…hold on!

Quiet.. my heart! Listen for just one moment, take a hyperthetical seat, this may take a few beats. You can’t keep going on like this.. you’ve been trampled on and now your stuck in the abyss…wake up from your slumber! Get out of this pit of despair. It hurts I know, when you are taken for granted, yes my heart.. it hurts. It could be worse.. you could have gave up first. You’re a fighter though, there are more beats left in you, your willingness will overcome. You feel used and abused because you want to love, but love is vulnerable because it means you get close to people. You will always be hurt if you aim to love, but this is good! Pain is a sign that your awake, and for the worlds sake… don’t let hatred become your fate! If the world hates you then that’s up to them, but not you my heart, because you can’t be filled with hate and remain Gods friend. I say it again.. you can’t be filled with hate and remain Gods friend! So keep beating, keep seeking and never be fleeting. The world needs real deep as the ocean mountain peak love, superficial warn and torn half hearted devoted love is not enough. So hang in there heart, keep pumping and bringing life! Let what’s good into your perimeters and never let hatred suffice.


Marinated love

Your words dwell within my ears like a beautiful euphony; my heart beats in a synchronised symphony in collaboration with your love for me. I remind myself of all you have done for me, in times of difficulty, I’m so grateful for the time you take to listen to me. 

Just listening reveals somebody who’s caring, a heart that is set apart from despairing. This is what I desire, a character that prefers truth from the liar. A love that has not been diluted into a weak potion that makes the heart polluted. Instead the test of time has strengthened loves commitment, always reaches its destination like a royal cargos shipment.

Yes… marinated love! Soaking up the good tastes of Heaven, all that is good delivered in a holy present. Wrapped up in purity and focused like the hubble telescope, a love that notices even me.. I’m just one in 7 billion, yet your love still takes note and sees.

Can you show me how to love like you do? After all; you are the way, the life and the truth. The way to our father in heaven is through you. This is my longing, that I would marinate in love everlasting, for this season of my life, this is all I am asking.

Image – google images – love heart


Coping mechamism

I have this voice that nobody seems to listen to. Its not easy in the mind of an overthinker, just like its not easy for the life of a heavy drinker. We find mechanisms to cope; some write, some drink and some smoke. What should I say? And would you listen if I said it? Or would what I speak be like an old book, you tell me that you have read it. How can overthinking be a gift and a curse at the same time? How come what I say is not always the same as what’s on my mind?

Being lonely in the middle of a crowd, one hundred minds joined together yet not one of them is speaking out loud. All gazing at the phone in hand, the only interaction is when people move to sit down. There is the odd eye contact, but only a glimpse and then it’s back to watsapp. Forget watsap… whats happening? I look around and become insecure like my mind is under attack again. What if I shouted now with all these people around? I bet that would get attention, but no I choose to silence my mouth and write it all down…Welcome to the underground!

I use technology for my expressive thinking, I figure this is much better for me than excessive drinking. Yet while I stare at my phone I sense reality slip from my grasp, speaking to people on the phone is good..but this gives conversation a mask. Looking into eyes and speaking face to face, this is the way to speak that will never go to waste.

Yet we all have coping mechamisms, I’m using mine right now. Writing what I see and feel helps me let my emotions out. Thats my coping mechanism, I see no harm if it can do some good, I would rather choose this than the drink, sex and drugs. Well thats my way of coping, whats yours? We all have potential within us, we just need to open our minds doors.

Image – google – mechanisms


When the storm comes

It would be wise to buy a coat before the storms approach. If not then I guess I will get soaked, it’s not a joke.. I have heard the forecast, the rumbles echo in the distance like a miners c4 blast. 

Am I ready? I ask myself while the sky is clear.. while I’m being promoted and life makes me raise a glass and cheer. This illusion of good weather makes me feel like life lasts forever. Then boom! ⚡ the rain comes and I realise I left my coat behind, I was warned about this but foolish me ignored the signs.

Oh God! I cry…while this rain falls from the hyperthetical sky. Why?.. Things were going so well until the lightning strike! I wasn’t ready but I was warned. In this life I shall have tribulations you said, but God I wasn’t ready for this storm.

Caught off guard, now there’s a power cut of my soul. The light of my faith is dimmer in this night, so alone…Lord light the flame of my heart again, come in…is this not your home? 

I have allowed strangers into this heart of mine, those who invaded with no consent. I have been trying to evict them, but they tell me they’ve been paying rent! 

Oh Lord, rescue me from my sin!.. I have been saying a storm is coming, but the storm rages within. The coat is your righteousness, the glory of you Lord. Yet I failed to put on my coat in the time I needed it most!

Peace… this cloud has a silver lining, I see it.. I see the clouds parting and the sun shining. I was close to throwing it all away again, talk about perfect timing! The storm has past..I am free for now, I have a chance to enjoy some time with just you and me now.

John 16:33I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


One of them?

I told a man once that I was a christian, he said to me, what makes you one of them? One of them, I gasped…what do you mean? Well aren’t they the ones that judge others and condems them because of sins? Oh…I’m not one of them! I’m a christian my friend. Erm, hello..you just told me that and I told you what I think..

One of them? I’m sorry that we are considered as hypocritical, anti-political and even cynical! This is not what Jesus intended when the church was born. This is not what he meant when he said love each other; forgive even our enemies, crucify the flesh and follow the Lord. Many are chosen but few are called, this is the reason why! Because we have painted a tainted picture of Christ. 

One of them? I refuse to follow the principles of men, if these principles lead me astray from God. To be the worlds friend, is it really worth it in the end if I sacrifice eternal life? I’m a christian, not in name but in stature. I don’t want to accuse the world of sin and then hope for my own rapture. If truth is what you are after, then christ is the best example. One of them? You ask.. I’m so sorry my friend, but they gave you the wrong sample.

One of them? It makes me sad that we the church have turned from our first love. He without sin cast the first stone; its not even stones, whole mountains we have thrown! Crushing the none believer by making them feel so far gone, that they think even Christ himself could not bring them home. Oh I’m sorry on behalf of them my friend! Christ welcomes you, with all faults and failures, his arms are open…open until the very end!

Cover photo: goodgle images


Heavenly father

Dear Heavenly father,

How long must I wait? I’m tired and weary from this long journey of faith. The shield I’m holding has become heavy and my sword blunt, I try to keep fighting but it’s coming to a point where I feel like accepting my fate. Sorry if I seem demanding; who am I to order the hands of my maker, I just long for you to secure my stance, I can’t do it without you. Its true, I tried and I fell and said ‘oh well, what now?’ You know how it is father, do I still need to tell you? Asif you don’t understand all the hell I have been through. You were there too! Struggling in the wilderness…yes me and you. I feel distant at times, father why is it during hard times you seem so hard to find? Is it because what seems like your absence causes me to dig deep? The desert land of my heart needs living water. I can carry a bucket, but its a well that I seek. Even better, you say when I believe living waters dwell in me. Well, come and let there be a waterfall and set this heart free! I’m not angry father, but I know I was for so long. Life had not been easy and many times I chose wrong. God if I write to you will you respond? I will wait for you… I will wait for you.. I will wait until I stand strong.


Dusk until dawn#lifepoem.8

Shame is a heavy weight to carry; I have enough to carry already without adding you to the basket. 

Pain is something I would rather divorce than marry; but pain is a part of life until I lye in my casket.

Sorrow may come at night, but joy comes with the morning.

Tomorrow I believe all things will be alright; this is my reminder when the devil starts roaring.

The hard times produce character, that’s why I can rejoice in tribulation.

If I can just hold on to faith and trust my narrator, then I know nothing will cause seperation.

I will grit my teeth in order not to speak wrong.

I will pray to unleash my heart so I can turn sorrow into songs.

I will make an effort to turn from evil, I will put down my anchor in the storm.

Even if I fight every night, God I cannot leave you. Give me strength from dusk until dawn.

I will escape from this mosh pit of madness

So that when I awake I will be filled with gladness.

This is the remedy for overcoming; to stand firm against the enemy and stop running.

Night time…you have no hold on me when the light shines.

So I’m gona let it shine, may these tribulations make my life refined.

Is this crazy? Maybe, but I would rather be a better man than let the evil in this world change me.

Shame… I’m done with your name, pain…I will use you for gain, this will be my story, this will be my fame

From dusk until dawn; hold on and don’t give up, and remember that when Jesus died the curtain was torn!


Muddy windows#lifepoem.7

Can my eyes not see? Is this picture only my imagination?
I want to see flowers grown naturally not forced into plantation.

Mother nature is on probation since the curse of Gods creation.

What is this blocking my view? Is it me? Or is it you?

Neither; these muddy windows, I tried to clean them but still the view is skewed 
I see beauty but I know it’s just a glimpse until I receive my full sight.

Heaven beckons while nature screams for restoration.

Even the trees bow down waiting with anticipation.

We have the sun but we still live in darkness.

These muddy windows are blocking the view of why all existence started.

Why don’t I just open the windows? Because the window is me.

My eyes are the window to all that I see.

If this beauty that I see is just a taste of eternity. 

Then how great is that day when my eyes are fully set free.

For now I see partially, but one day will see in all fulness

When just a flash of the Lords light will blaze up all lifes dullness.

Muddy windows? Only for a short while….The beauty of eternity is not worth comparing too, I will gaze through these muddy windows for now, and I will do it with a smile, until my last day when I have seen this life through.

Image – google images – muddy windows