Standing strong

I am not a failure, it doesn’t matter how many times I have fell.

Each time that I have stumbled, it’s given me a story to tell.

Yeah I’ve messed up, sometimes I wonder if this is the last time.

Yeah I’ve pretended to be okay, told everyone I was fine.

While deep inside and in my mind, this pain was eating away at me.

God I know you are there but why are you so hard to see?

I’ve been in that place again God, a dark place I didn’t want to go.

I did my best to stay away from there, I didn’t want this pain to show.

But it was to much to bare, I thought about everything I had been through.

Then I examined those voices in my head, and realised that they were not true.

For years I believed my life was doomed to fail, oh that person could be the one, oh and now they are taken, well I guess that ship has sailed.

Past experience shaped the present, I thought that’s just how it was.

But this was a stronghold built on a lie, destroyed by the power of the cross.

When my path crossed with Christ, things changed.

I looked at life differently, now things didnt seem the same.

These lies became exposed, useless, waste of space – Non No No!

Just because things didnt work out the way I expected, it doesn’t mean things didnt work out for good.

Jesus himself was rejected, but he knew he could save humanity by shedding his blood.

So I look back today, as someone with a future and a past, and I realise the best I can be is myself, I no longer need a mask.

Gods got me in his hand, and somehow has a master plan.

Today in strength I can stand, today I say I can!


Lavish

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Mirror mirror

Tell me what do you see? 
When I’m looking at you and you’re looking at me.

Mirror mirror, would you lie to  yourself?

Would you tell me I’m ugly?

Would you see someone else?

Would you boost my confidence? And give me compliments?

Or would you put me down? And turn my smile to a frown.

Mirror mirror, sometimes you tell me lies.

You make me look different and distort my size.

Other people say I look nice, why can’t you?

You say that I’m useless, but I know thats not true.

You try to deceive me, by making me believe that what I see is my identity.

Mirror mirror, you only see what’s on the surface.

Yet I am much more than that.

I may not be perfect but now I’m seeing through your cracks…

Im beautiful, I dont care what you say.

Mirror mirror, you’re not ruining my day.

For a while I listened, until I found out the truth, that there is far more to life than listening to you.

A good heart and strong mind, this you can’t define.

Every person is unique, so I am one of a kind.

So, mirror mirror on the wall.

If you dont have anything good to say, then its best you say nothing at all.


Lavish


What if?….What next?….

Have you ever wanted something so much that you believed one day you will have what you want? This something became magnified through the days, months or years you wanted it. You built up a belief system and truly believed this something was for you. Then one day, just like a sudden thunderstorm in Autumn, that something was now taken.

This hurts and caused a personal storm of emotions within the soul. The foundation built on a false promise crumbled away, no longer is there a what if? The chance has gone and now the realisation of receiving what you wanted has died. Now you mourn for the loss, now you wonder, “what next?”

We all go through times of what ifs? and have moments of what next? Maybe its a house we wanted, or a relationship with somebody, or our dream job. Whatever that something, of someone is, it hurts when we have no choice but to say goodbye. Yet sometimes saying goodbye is the best thing for us. Okay, so we mourn for a time, but when we can no longer hold on to ‘what if?’ We have to pursue what’s next.

What next could be the greatest adventure of our lives. We no longer have anything holding us back, there’s nothing to loose now so why dwell on what’s lost? What’s next is up to us to embrace. 

If we look back we go off track, if we pursue what’s next we will become our best.

That somebody you wanted to be with may have blocked the best partner for you. That dream house may not have been as good for you as the next one. That job you were offered could have consumed you to the point of exhaustion, then what good would it have been?

Every moment has a purpose all though many moments dont make sense. Write a letter to your future self, then when you read it in the future, ask yourself, ‘am I glad things didn’t go the way I wanted them too now’? You never know what good things are waiting for you, so embrace what’s next.
Lavish

The wall

You have trained hard and pushed yourself to your limit. You have been consumed with a passion in your heart, you didn’t quit in all those set backs, you chose to carry on despite exhaustion and times of depression. Life threw everything at you but you overcame it all, and then it happened. You arrived at the wall…

The wall is that moment in life when it seems to much to  overcome. It is a circumstance that stops you in your tracks, a wall that seems impossible to climb, the more you look at it, the bigger the wall seems. It towers over all the progress made like a man made Goliath. You forget how far you have come, like someone running a marathon you start wondering if you can carry on. Then you ask yourself, is it worth it?

Many of us have reached this point, especially when pursuing something worth fighting for. It is at this point that the reality of our commitment is tested. Do I really want that job? Is it marriage that I really want right now? Am I really pursuing the right thing to do? We reason with ourselves, we internally fight as we develop logical reasons for doubting the next step. Yet through our logical reasoning we forget the steps already accomplished to get to this point. Its easy to let the wall overshadow the progress we’ve made.

Failure is not falling a few times and getting back up. It is falling and never getting back up. We have been given today, so we have a chance to get back up. 

The wall is there to test our commitment, beyond it is all that we have pursued. Brick by brick we can take it down, it is our belief that will make the wall fall. Believing first of all, that you have not failed, and that life has not failed you! You made it this far, so why give up now? Second of all, God made each of us with a purpose in mind. So that thought, ‘why am I here?’ can be cast into the depths of the ocean!

We have today to make things right. The seeds we sow today can start to grow tomorrow. All we need to do is water what we do through our commitment to it, then in time, we will see it grow into something beautiful. Something far bigger than the wall we faced. Something far more beautiful than we could ever imagine. Be patient, a crop doesn’t grow over night, but it will grow. In its season the harvest will be ready and you will see the fruit of all you have done. It will be worth the wait. The finish line is there for a purpose, it is something to aim for. It is a goal to pursue. Along the way are hills and valleys; encouragements and falls; distractions and temptations; strengths and weaknesses. Yet through it all you have your mind set, quitting is not even an option. This is the mindset of an athletic champion. When the wall comes, your not afraid of it’s height, you dont care how long it takes to get through it, because you know you will get through it. This is the mindset for achieving what we pursue, this is how we get to the finish line.

So take heart, the wall will come down, you just need to believe it!
Lavish

               Trust&Love

How can I say I love you, if I don’t respect your boundary?

If I’m too near that line, I should be saying, “hey, your boundary is sound with me”.

I’m sorry if I crossed it, if I broke the trust and lost it.

Love should have put you first, but I took your heart and squashed it.

Trust takes time to build, but it only takes one time for trust to be killed.

Its not worth loosing for whatever reason, trust is not like the weather, its more pike a season.

The weather is for a moment but a season is longer.

If you give trust reapect, it will only become stronger.

If its lost it can be found again, it can be developed like a bond with a friend.

Keep your word, don’t cross that line, and you shall see in time, that you and trust will be just fine.

Trust&Love walk hand in hand, they know each other well its no one night stand.

So I say to myself each day, love and trust will you lead the way.

Your direction is better than a sat nav, all I have to do is obey.

If I do this, then I know, that everything will be OK.


Lavish