Don’t change who you are just so you can get someone to like you. If someone you like doesn’t like you back in the same way unless you change, then that someone is not worth being with. If they do like the person you have changed to become, then how can they ever like the real you? You would spend most of your time wearing a mask just so you can be liked. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then that’s a problem they have not you. They are the ones to change their attitude, not the person. An attitude can change in a moment, our character takes much longer.
Here is the problem with changing just to fit in or make someone like you. First of all, when you change into this new person it is a huge role play that you put on. You are acting out the new character just like a play. The problem with this is, the more you act out this character the more likely you are to become that person. Say if someone doesn’t want you because you are too nice or kind. You think that if you stay nice and kind you won’t ever be wanted, so you decide to start acting the opposite, rude and mean for example. People at first know that this isn’t the real you and may even ask or wonder why you are acting that way. You however, feel so hurt from that one rejection that you feel a need to pursue becoming this fake you. People eventually begin to treat you the same way, and this hurts. Then the rude and mean new you begins to take root and becomes more and more like the real you, it gets harder to snap out of and before you know it, this is who you have become!
You see the danger? If you are a good person and are nice, kind, helpful and more, why change for the opposite? These attributes are attractive without someone ever saying so. The person that doesn’t want that kind of person is the person that needs to be treated the most with these attributes! Do we do this so they will change? No, we do this because that’s who we are.